In Sickness...

OK; it's been over two years since I blogged...
I had every intention of doing this more often at the start, but frankly, I got too busy, too tired and too desirous of not looking so inward for a while. A novelty for me, I know.
I need to write again now.
A lot has happened since 11-2006.
My son is ten and a half weeks old, for example.
Another crazy surprise for me and Josh--more love, more worry...
Since Finn was born last November 17, we as a family have had at least 2-3 colds, and Fiona has had pneumonia. In fact, in the last 12 months, we've been sick 6-7 times with colds, bugs, etc.
I haven't been this sick, this often, since grade school. Chalk it up to the fact that the girls started preschool last September, too, but whatever the case, all this run-of-the-mill sickness is exhausting. Probably mostly for me--the mother.
That's the thing I wasn't really expecting--in between all the normal tough days of motherhood and wifery (ha!), there are the extra challenges, like your child or children being sick. You don't sleep at night, you worry, you take temperatures and you call the doctor. And then you get sick, too. But no days or even hours off--it's always "go time" when you're a parent.
With my husband working a lot at his job, I am the one at home the most. And I am certainly more controlling, so even when I can get some help or time off, I rarely accept or want it. So I get more run down than the rest of the family on a regular basis.
I can't imagine what life would be like if my husband expected me to lose all the "baby weight," cook dinner every night and have a well-kept house 24/7. I got lucky. He never pressures me--but I certainly pressure myself.
So here I am, two weeks post-cold, now with some kind of residual sinus infection from hell. What else is new? If it's not something, it's something else. I panic sometimes when I realize I won't rest until--unless--I am much older. Ahhh, learn to love the here and now. Right?
My mom is always telling me that she thinks we're here to be happy--with who we are and what we have. She's experienced real loss. She lost her dad when she was five and her sister at age 29. Her best friend died in a flood when they were six. I mean, what kind of tragedies have shaped my mindset?
Only imagined ones, I guess. I wish that were enough, 'cause I know that if I live long enough, they will come.
In the meantime, it's sleep deprivation and the endless cycle of viruses to contend with. This, I guess, I can handle.